I could....

Dear Reader (are you still there?),

I haven't posted much of interest lately as you may have seen. You may note the brevity in my postings and just a quick word or two. Or maybe a confusing picture with nonsense written about it. I'm sorry about that....those are just random thoughts that I feel I must share. My time has been strained and the time I usually take to do these things has been seemingly better served in dreamland. So, today, instead of napping, I am trying to stay awake, alert and share a little of my life of late. How do I share some of it without overloading you?

I could tell you about my friend's husband who passed away suddenly of what seemed to be a heart attack. And that he left 3 kids behind (11, 8 and 5). How he was only 41 and how I can't imagine surviving that and how I have had thoughts of fear like that a lot lately... (but that's kind of depressing...)

I could tell you about the trip to the Principal's office my 7 year old made last week because he can't seem to remember the classroom rules. ("not talking when his teacher is talking, and following directions about staying on task"...ie: not ignoring her and doing as he pleases....) And how upset I have been because he HAD been doing so well this year in this department so far....(but that's also kind of depressing)

But then I could also share with you that my husband took a trip to the principal in the 3rd grade because "he was ignoring his teacher and doing as he pleased and talking too much." Or about the time he hit a girl in the face in the 1st grade because "she was ugly." In spite of this obviously apparent deviant personality disorder, he seemed to turn out okay and is probably the nicest person you will ever meet. (kinda depressing, kinda hilarious...but mostly hopeful!)

I could tell you about my new part-time gig/job as a "bookseller"/

slave/picker-upper at a well known bookstore. How it keeps me up into the wee hours of the night(morning) and how I know I don't like corporate sales driven mumbo-jumbo...but that I do like it when I can help someone find a book or recommend a good read and that I often get distracted by all the book eye-candy.

Or, I could share with you how I daily wonder what/who I want to be when I grow up. That whenever I hear of a career someone might have, I wonder if I might like to do that or if it would make my skin crawl. Or how I wish most days I could just focus all of my attention on my kids and not worry about making any money.... (but that's kind of depressing too.)

But, I could also tell you how when I get home late some nights and I go re-tuck my kids snuggly in their beds, I might hear an "I love you mommy" mumbled in between incoherencies.

(Not soo depressing anymore....)

Or, how when I see my little one running around in nothin' but his bare legs...feet padding on the hardwood, giggling about something or running to find his not one, but "2 gankets"...how it all just doesn't matter. The world aligns and everything is at it should be.

Maybe, I will just stick to the latter.