Mama Bear

WARNING: I am on a rant here. I risk offending

ideologies....but, hey it IS my blog. That being said, I do love you all no matter what you believe. :)

As parents, moms especially, we find so much meaning in the little things our kids do. Poor little guys; they are geniuses one minute and aliens the next.  They show brilliance when they learn their first word at 6 months. Then something MUST be wrong with them if they can't ride their bikes at 5 years.

I am trying to let go of the small stuff...not obsess...not nit-pick....not be THAT crazy mom. (This can be difficult.)  I am not one to live vicariously, at least I didn't think....  But when your child shows exceptionality, don't you just want everyone to see it, appreciate it and of course applaud it?!  My first born has always been exceptional...of course, to us. But when you hear it outside of your own mind, you go..."Yeah, that's right. He is pretty amazing." And the idea grows. Then when the day comes and you are confronted with that ugly word, you know...."average" (insert horror movie scream here)...are you taken back? Do you dig your heels in? Do you revolt against the idea? Or do you sigh and say, well, it's probably better that they learn this now.  So, one day he isn't blown away by the concept that he isn't the smartest, fastest, best and brainiest.  Better to get a reality check at 6?  I'm just wondering....

All this is coming to me on the heels of the Honor's Day in j.'s first grade classroom. This is his first year in the public school and I did my research before sending him on.  I read the reviews, talked to the parents, understood the limitations, but felt this was a "good school" and was excited about some of the possibilities that his little private school couldn't offer him.  He was accepted into the "gifted program" midway through the year. (since he wasn't there last year they had to put him through the lengthy process of testing and determining he was beyond their phonics and reading in the class....talk about sitting on your hands and twiddling your thumbs for 4 months!)  I was excited that he would have that outlet with similar minds and learning opportunities. That being said, that has been one of a very few flickering stars in a pretty ho-hum, and average year.  

He starts each year with an exuberance (and that's understated) to learn. He pushes what he can learn. He asks questions and begs for more difficult challenges. Then something happens, about mid-way, he gets defeated.  You see the change, the difficulty in keeping him engaged. He gets bored.  Is this what we are doing to our brightest? Squashing them down in the name of equality? Is this NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND? (sorry, I warned you I was on a rant...)

I have had lengthy meetings with his teachers, principals, counselors, etc. How else can we challenge him in the class? Can he go to different classes for certain subjects? etc.  One of the main things I kept hearing was...."we teach to the average".  What does THAT mean? 

So, back to the point.  Honor's Day. Yeah.  I love the way they come up with creative ways to acknowledge something that might drive them absolutely crazy, but then make it an award. 

No, I get it.  Really. Accentuate the positive.  Make each child feel like they've contributed to the class as a whole. While I get this....here's my beef:  

j. takes his spelling tests in a different room or in the hallway because he has different words than the rest of the class.  He cannot draw attention to anything he does that would be deemed "superior" in the eyes of the class as a whole. The kids know he is reading different books, they tell their parents he is the smartest one in the class. They don't care. It really doesn't matter to them...kids naturally do this kind of stuff.  I think they have a better internal gauge than we give them credit for. We are so worried about their fragile self-esteems. But don't you think, they will naturally figure out some kids are better at things than others. And I might just be better at something else. We all grew up this way. We figured it out. Heck, I remember coloring contests in elementary school. We would color a picture and post them unnamed on the chalkboard.  Then we'd vote. Who's was the best?  Maybe because mine always won :), but I really don't think this was cause for major therapy for any child.   Whatever happened to good old-fashioned competition?  Excelling. Isn't that what makes us great? Pushes us to be better. When did we become so okay with average? Mediocrity. Everyone is the same. 

Sigh, But I digress again....These are the awards j. got: 

1. Most Persistent - never giving up on what he believes in  

2. Most Likely to Become a Supreme Court Justice.

Okay, funny. But come on!! These are good things, I realize. Even last year he received an award for excellence in "Teaching Mrs. Jone's Unknown Facts" (this is all giving you a little insight into his little personality....) as well as some academic achievement awards. So, I suppose it's not so surprising that these were the awards his teacher decided to bestow upon him this year. I just wonder. So, many times, I heard his classmates whispering, "oh, that's for j." when they'd hear their teacher say "a reading excellence award goes to...." etc. But, no. No acknowledgement of his academic achievement. 

Now, I know I risk sounding like a crazy lady here. And maybe I am. I am just a little miffed. WTF? Ya know?

Now, I am gonna go chill and play with my baby.