little j. Gump

You know how in the movie Forrest Gump, whenever Forrest takes a picture his eyes are closed?  That always cracked me up.  Ironically, my son has a similar issue with his sports teams' pictures.  Now, don't get me wrong, he can be extremely photogenic but when it comes to posing for his team pictures....well, let's just say he usually has ulterior motives, or something like that.  

We recently took this year's baseball pictures and I gently reminded him that last year he was upset that he looked so "dumb" (his word) in his picture. (see top) Gently reminding him doesn't seem to work; obviously, he is in the moment and forecasting how it might look just doesn't play into his thinking.  

j. was looking at his pictures in the car and noting that in his individual shot, "he looked mean".  Sorry charlie, I warned ya.  Then he announced he wasn't even in the team picture, (guess he didn't remember posing for it a few weeks earlier??).  When we reminded him, yes, he indeed was...he was in the top right-hand corner next to his coach, he responded, "OH, THAT GUY?"

(bottom right)

Ha.  

So, like Forrest, when it comes to team pictures; it is a bit like a box of chocolates.....  

 

I must be a lucky, lucky girl.

This is my bike. I love it. It's a seriously happy bike...everything that constitutes sparkles and fluff.

We live on a slight hill so the greatest joy comes from pedaling out of the garage and gloriously whizzing down the street - feet up, hair blowing and letting out a loud WEEEEE!!! as I gleefully cruise on to the end of my cul-de-sac.

I am a lucky girl, it seems, to have this bike. As I was researching images of my lovely friend for this post, I realized through chats and messages that this bike is deeply coveted in the world of cruisers, bike geeks and design freaks all around.

It seems it is hard to find. It is the Petro Zillia by Electra bikes and was a collaborative design effort by Electra and the chief designer Nony Tochterman of the fashion design company Petro Zillia. I was lucky enough to receive it for Mother's Day a few years back from my awesome kid and doubly awesome husband. He knew what he was doing. He's both a bike geek and a design freak.

See, I found it in a catalog and super-imposed my face into the ad and then not-so-subtly posted my creation above my loving husband's computer with the intention of him finding it and (hopefully) getting a good laugh. I loved the detail on this bike. It was not lacking in the details...everything was considered. I can appreciate that.

I was oh-so-excited to realize my wish on Mother's Day that year with the picture handed back to me in a card telling me it would soon be mine. ALL MINE. I can't go on long road rides with my husband with this bike, but I can cruise to the pool with a drink in the basket and enjoy my alone time with the wind whipping through my hair and the breeze on my face. Ahh....summer can't come soon enough.

Dude, it totally rocked.

Today was a good day.  I love it when my sister-in-law comes to visit because I just don't feel so alone in the world.  Something about hugging and loving on her just makes everything alright, ya know?!

She scored some passes to the Aquarium so we got the whole cousin crew together and a Grampa to spend a day looking at some fish.  The fish at the Ga Aquarium are no run-of-the-mill fish. These are the real deal, biggest, baddest, craziest looking aquatic animals known to man.  The belugas and the whale sharks are by far the most impressive.  Pictures really do not do them justice.  I am not a big zoo fan.  Just ho-hum if you ask me....but the AQUARIUM; that is a whole other story.  Something about the water, the darkness, the fish swimming in no particular way, the total zen quality - well, I could hypnotize myself just writing about it.  It is absolutely awe-inspiring.   Until you pair it with 50 million people and then it becomes absolutely dizzying. Well, that was close to our experience today.  I still managed to find my zen (in 10 second bursts).   And the kids were all enjoying themselves immensely.  

j. even scored a day out of school. Who says the aquarium isn't more educational than 1st grade??  He said the Manta Ray was his favorite.  It was pretty impressive.... a. even managed to wave at one as it swam over his head in the glass tunnel.  At 1, little a. seemed to already understand that this was a pretty special place, worthy of his special wave.  

We spent a long day there and into about hour 4, my 2 year old niece bounced into the Tropical Diver section with all the beautiful bright coral and fish and exclaimed "FISHLIESles"!!!!! with all the excitement of a kid at Christmas or with a shiny new fluffy puppy... I think that might have been the best part of the day.  That and when we got locked out upon returning home, we found refuge at the neighbors' for a short stay..... j. helped Grampa Bill feel comfortable with a "DUDE, SERIOUSLY, YOU CAN COME IN...."  Dude, he must have watched too many viewings of Nemo.  Dude.

Sticktoitiveness

n. dogged perseverence, tenacity.

(I thought I was going to have to define this through heather's "merriam"-webster dictionary, but whatdayaknow...there it is in the real deal. Who knew?!)

Little j. is going to be a black belt. At seven. Do you think that is weird? I do. I am sure people wonder if it will be a real deal black belt and it will. There are all sorts of things that he will have to do on this day that will have to exemplify perfection. There will be no room for error. As his instructor has said, (or "instruptor" as his 3 yr old self coined) this day will be the pinnacle of his 4 years of training. He will have to be "on" and it has to be The Perfect Day. Wow. No pressure there.

This silliness began innocently enough. I never even considered karate (or taekwondo) as a possible activity for the little man. He had already played one brief season of Y soccer and had various "sport tyke" and gym classes. Soccer was hilarious. He was much more interested in imagining the soccer field as a runway strip with him as the airplane than actually learning the game. (This is something I wish I could get back now....games and the rules therein are of utmost importance) One day when he was 3 walking through the mall, we were accosted by a fabulous sales pitch. I fell hard. Promises of self-control, respect, discipline, confidence and leadership were ringing in my ears.. like chimes from the Promised Land.

Recently, I stumbled upon some video of my sweet little 3 year old at one of his first "belt tests". It was cute, seeing them barely coordinated enough to get through their stances, saying the oath... "Each day I will live by honoring my parents and instruPtors...", and practicing stranger danger etc. j. had a rough time that day. It was NOT his perfect day. He couldn't sit still. Looking back, it was innocent enough. He was happy, he wasn't being too disruptive...he just fidgeted a bit....well, a lot. HE WAS 3!!!!!!!!! He didn't get his belt that day. He had to sit through the ceremony and clap as his peers received theirs and then promise to be on his BEST behavior for a week to finally earn it. I cried as I watched this again...just a mere 4 years later. I am still grieving that piece of my child that we stole away.

I don't claim to be a perfect parent. Quite the contrary, I trust others "professional" opinions more than my own "professional" instinct too much. (I am learning though...) I always thought, really what do you need to know? Just love the heck out of them. Right?! Well, you just don't know what challenges you are going to get. But, what I am slowly figuring out is that whatever you struggle the most with in yourself, TADA!!!....that's going to be your challenge in your parenting. I struggle with perfectionism. I struggle with setting goals. I struggle with living up to expectations. When did my kid become me??

There have been times, when he wanted to quit. "The Blue Belt Blues", they call it. "He'll get over it. What does it teach him to quit? Learning a lesson like this early on teaches him perseverance. What happens when he is in college and decides he wants to quit? " (seriously, I heard that. ) These words strike fear into any loving, good-intentioned parents' hearts... as it is intended to.

True to form, the kid wanes and then rallies. Right now he is into a rally. He is all about it. There are no complaints. But we are taking a "break". Unfortunately, it's only a couple of months off....that's all we could wiggle in our "contract." yeah, there's a contract. He is playing baseball too and I honestly thought I might crack with both going on. That and the drama that is school. (but hey, that's another blog post all together)

So, here I am. Self - actualizing at the expense of my eldest child. I hope and pray each day that he is stronger than any harm my confusion may have caused him. Isn't that how we all feel? But, they are resilient. We probably give ourselves too much credit as well as take too much blame. That's what THEY say anyway. Have you ever wondered who "they" are? I do. often. This is just what I have been thinking about.

I'm here to see a man, a man about a plan...

I have to be the world's worst planner.... besides my husband I think.

We try, really we do.  But,  put 2 highly intuitive, highly perceptive, highly introverted and creative people together and you don't get much done besides a lot of dreaming and idealizing.   We have day-planners and i-phones and calendars and all the things you need to function in this life, but plans?  That's a whole other story.  Oh, we have dreams...lots of 'em.  Just don't ask us our plan...at least the kind of plan that most functioning adults would have.  My close friend once asked us what our 5 year plan looked like.  I laughed out loud. 

Now, we do actually accomplish things.  Amazingly enough. We just do them.  No plans. We float along, catch the wind, are along for the ride....wanna go camping this weekend?  Sure, no problem.  (I think I lived my entire college life this way... met my husband this way actually.)  And definitely NOT a creature of habit...I never order the same thing twice at a restaurant. 

 

The funny thing and irony in it all is I DO believe in living a purposeful life.  Raising kids proactively, setting goals, simplifying, letting go... etc.  I just haven't figured out yet how to DO ANY OF THAT.......yet.  It just goes completely against my nature.  I do think you can train yourself, it's just hard work. Again,  I haven't figured that out yet.

I am amazed at women that have it all together. They plan for a week (or more),  they're organized,  there is a budget and a plan for everything.  If this is you, I am in awe of you!!   I need to live this way....I do.  It's just a struggle.  I cracked up at this explanation of the perceptive end of the INFP personality profile.....especially the last sentence.

 

Perceptive: Applies to the way we structure our lives. Perceptive types put much value on the open ended.  They do not like to come to a conclusion unless forced to and then may still be uncomfortable with its closure.  Being aware of how many factors are involved and how much is still unknown, they are terrified at making a rash decision.  They hope they can solve a problem simply by understanding it better, by seeing it from all sides and eventually being able to see the thing to do.  They love to explore the unknown.  They don't like to be pinned down, to plan a task, to make definite statements.  They prefer to be spontaneous, to live for the moment.   They like to make work fun or they lose interest in it. They don't believe in deadlines, but use them instead as alarm clocks allowing them to pick up spurts of energy at the last minute and accomplish the task.  In conversations they can jump from subject to subject depending on whatever enters their mind, or whatever enters the room.

Ha,  here I am trying to figure out how to solve this planning problem by merely understanding it better, dissecting it and laughing at myself..... So, here's to figuring it all out.   When I figure it out, I'll let you know.   If I haven't already moved on to something else.

my 5 "guilty" pleasures

So, my very sweet and lovely sister-in-law wrote a note about her 5 guilty pleasures and then turned it into 12. You go, girl.
Although, I have to say, that if these are her "guilty" pleasures, she needs more corruption. (j/k....I probably need her influence.) I particularly liked her one about buying cute underwear. I probably do need that guilt on my conscience.

She asked for responses, so in true Letterman fashion...here are my top 5 guilty pleasures. You only really need one word for each of these...they speak volumes alone.

5. Sleep

4. Facebook (and the word games therein)

3. Starbucks

2. Twilight. (I am such an adolescent.)

and my number one guilty pleasure right now:

1. my new blog!!!

woo-hoo...raise the roof. yay me.

Ok, I'm really just a big dork. I like to think that I am a bit more cultured and interesting than this list indicates and that's all a part of who I am for sure.....but, if I had to boil it down RIGHT NOW...sad isn't it.? (sigh.)

(maybe I'll do this exercise a bit later into the spring and hope for a little more intellectual stimulation...but I guess if they were actually worth my time, they wouldn't be my "guilty pleasures"..right?!)

words so sweet

"Ashy, can you say mama?"

"uh - oooo"

"What's uh, oh? How about mama?"

"uh - ooo"

"Not uh-oh. maa-maa"

"uh - oooh, uh - ooooohhh"

"how about mah-mah...mama...maahhmah-mah...MAMA!"

"ah-dun"

considering summer

Little j. was much sweeter today. Good thing too because that lion is stalking me. I have been double dosing vitamin c and probiotics. This cannot get me down...how are we going to keep on keeping on if mom is down?

We had to get out today for awhile. Baby bro. is stir crazy. The weather was beautiful so we walked a little and went to our playground. j. could hardly make it down our street without needing a break. If you know him, this is NOT right. He does not stop. He is my little energizer bunny..... (insert annoying commercial line here) This has really wiped him out and it's a little scary. He hasn't eaten much in over a week and looks skinny and pale. Poor dude. Really. It's 6:00 and both boys are napping. I know it's going to probably bite me in the butt tonight. They are in need of recovery though, and this mom is in need of quiet. AHH... nice and quiet.

Having j. home all week was nice not worrying about schedules, although that's hard too. But, it also reminds me of the creeping of summer upon us. What are we going to do all summer long??? When did childhood change so that summer consists of day camps all summer long for kids so that they could stay busy? Remember when kids played outside all summer? When neighborhoods had kids clamoring that they were soooo bored. When kids spent their days riding bikes, swimming in rivers, playing in the woods. Or, maybe that was just a movie I saw once?....Well, not here. We live in such an over-scheduled, over-tired, under-enjoyed society. I admit, I fall into it. I am a sucker. I fall prey to the undercurrent about to sweep us up....the idea that kids must be involved in everything to be well-rounded and successful in life. It's a national suburban disease and it's sweeping the homes of you and I alike. Oh, but I rant and digress. Back to my point, my neighborhood is quiet most days, even in the summer. I guess more parents are having to both work these days...and I am somewhat envious of that, I admit. Two paychecks would be nice.

So, I leave now with a question. What do the kids in your 'hood do all summer long? Is it like the long summer days of your childhood? Or is it like the no man's land that I live in? Guess I better be looking into those summer camps.

Invasion of the body snatchers....

Can a high fever change you at the cellular level?

(Disclaimer: My child is not without his moments... obviously. Usually, they are moments and not entire days. He typically has a heart of gold and loves and feels deeply. He is also highly emotional. That being said, he can also become like dr.jekyl/mr.hyde )

This is j's little "territory" (his words) he created in the corner of his bedroom today. Since he's being quarantined to his room and he's sick of his bed, I suppose he needed a little creative imagining. The past few days were riddled with high fevers and aches. Today I think he's feeling a little better even though he has only taken one dose of his antibiotics. No fever, but he's still fine with laying around. Unlike his usual self, for sure. However, there is a spark there. j., or someone parading as him, has had his moments today......

Upon waking and knowing that he would have to hang in his room, said creature from another planet demanded that I get his DVD player. Awhile later, alien boy had a conniption that it wasn't working. Then Leapster was out of batteries. Meanwhile, I was feeding baby brother and said I'd get to it.... Longer than he would have liked passed I suppose, when I heard this little creature exclaim, "I TOLD YOU TO FIX IT!"

wow.

After being banished to his room for awhile, I entered to check on him. This is what I hear:

"what? Come in, get what you need and get out!"

Again, I ask, who are you and what have you done with my son?"

Clorox, my friend.

I am not feeling very funny or witty today. In fact, I am feeling sorta crappy. achy. Agh!! That is my attempt at a blog scream. Did you hear it?!?

It is not so much taking care of a sick kid that is overwhelming me. I can handle that. It's the lingeringness...(nice word, eh?) It's the keeping 2 kids away from each other on different floors when they both need me.  It's the trying to disinfect everything while my baby pulls the house apart at the same time.  It's the 52 loads of laundry to disinfect the flu virus and strep bacteria out of our sheets and towels and clothes.  It's the realization that I am soooo behind in my bills and daily routine due to lingering sicknesses. AND it's the fact that I too feel as though it's stalking me, about to take me down like a lion to a gazelle.  (if you didn't get it, I am the gazelle. of course.)  

But through it all I am trying to remind myself that "this too shall pass." I am not dealing with a life-threatening illness and the ickiness of it all will not keep on.  I feel a little guilty and petty when I know there are friends of ours who are dealing with a too real illness and a real-life scare and challenge.  They probably wish all they had to deal with was the flu.  

So, back to getting a grip. dealing, and keeping on......

Blogalicious

I had quite the time coming up with my blog name and address. Oh, it was easy to come up with ideas...I had too many of them. Usually that's not the problem, it's finding the right one that is the problem. Because it is by far necessary to my sanity that it be THE right name...of course. Wouldn't it be for you?

Here were just a few of my ideas:

http://distractiblity.blogspot.com

http://whatthe.blogspot.com

http://nada.blogspot.com

http://meaninglesswanderings.blogspot.com

http://mamagonenuts.blogspot.com

http://rockinthesuburbs.blogspot.com

http://theexceptionallyordinary.blogspot.com

and my favorite....

http://crapstink.blogspot.com

Ok. So, those were just a few....but I went on and on and I was amazed at how many had actually been taken.

So, we should all probably be glad that I had that Ah-Ha! moment and ended up with one that was meaningful AND G-rated. It could've gone all so wrong.

phew.

What the....?

Okay, I've been holding out on this little gem. I am slightly embarrassed by it, but in an effort to maintain a no bs, lay-it-all-out there kind of blog with an element of fun, I am going to share. Actually I lied, I am not that embarrassed by it. I saved it up especially for this.

So, little j. has a tendency to push limits. He's my heart for sure. He drives me insane for sure...but only because he is so much like me, I must admit. He just says and does the things that I never dared say except to those absolutely the closest to me. A friend of mine tells me that her oldest son loves him because j. says and does the things that her son wants to but is too afraid to do. That's just great...isn't that what we strive our kids to be.... the one that does and says the things that everyone else is too afraid to? I am envisioning my future heart-attack as I write this....

He recently picked up the saying "what the...?" from, oh, I don't know, his friend down the street, his classmates, his mom maybe? (to be fair, I don't actually use that term. I use the more appropriate, "what the crap?") Anyway, we have been trying to instill in him that this is not appropriate for a 6 year old. Definitely not appropriate... We even got a note home from school:

"j has been saying the phrase "what the..." a lot in the classroom. I asked him to stop and then pulled him aside to tell him that is not appropriate for him to say. Please also talk to him about this."

First of all, don't you just love it when teachers assume you have never heard this before. Or that you haven't already "talked" to them about this like 50 times already. Because in his case, that is what it takes.

So, we had the same talk, AGAIN and left it with that.

Last week, some neighborhood boys came to see if j. wanted to play football. I am still a little cautious of unsupervised play especially with older kids, but I would be able to hear them just outside our back deck so I let him go. Most of these kids I knew, there was only one boy that I didn't know, turns out he's 10 and in 5th grade. uh - oh.

On our way to karate one night j. said a "what the heck".... so, it occurred to me to ask if he's been reigning it in....if he has still been saying "what the" at school.

"No," he replies, "now I just say holy shit."

WHHAATTT????

After catching my breath, and checking my ears...and asking where he had heard this one, (I bet you know... you are all so smart.)... he giggled and said, "yeah, but you know what is really funny?!?! For awhile, I thought he was saying holy ship."

That-a-boy.

Wow. What a wonderful www.

Craziness. Sheer crazy, time consuming, ever-evolving, endless possibilities and creative unleashing. Wow!! That is all I have to say about this blog business.  

The problem I already foresee is being unsatisfied with the limitations I have: time, energy and creative perfectionism.  There I said it, I am a perfectionist. It's a problem. A problem I am learning to accept and deal with.  As it pertains to this blog, I will be honest about it; but know I will never be completely satisfied with my limitations.  Self-imposed as they may be. 

I have even started another blog design elsewhere, just because I might like that one better.  

Good grief!

Just let it be, right???!! Oh, why can't that be my motto?  

So, I will leave you with another, resounding...WOW!