Staring down the jackass in the mirror

I confess. I have had a rotten attitude.  (ha!, as if you haven't noticed....) 

I have been struggling with fear, doubt, regret and entitlement. Wrap these words up neatly in a bow and they become a present of anger.  Beware of the wrath to be unleashed....

These are all really un-fabulous qualities for anyone; let alone a mom, wife, friend, girl who claims to be a Christian.  These are not qualities that I am proud of.  

I am not sure when or how this attitude of entitlement took hold.  Maybe I never have truly felt gratitude. (I do hope that isn't the case. )  Maybe, over time, my attitude changed my gratitude. Maybe it has just slowly festered deep inside of me, slowly gaining power...that's how insidiousness works you know...  if you aren't continually aware of your negative thoughts and take them captive at their onslaught, they can turn on you and just take over. Before you know it,  POOF!!,  you look in the mirror and wonder who is staring back at you. (wicked step-mother anyone?)  I know this is true of me.  I am a work in progress for sure. One step forward, three (or five) steps back.....

In an effort to take the Negative Nilly out of me, I will be thinking, naming and claiming my amazing blessings.  Who in their right mind wouldn't be thankful for:  

and 

little j.....

is funny, loving, sensitive, smart, beautiful and healthy!  What more could I ask for?

little a.....

is sweet, funny, adorable, cuddly, and HEALTHY!  Again, what more do I need?

Big J......

is patient, loving, kind, funny, smart, hard-working, loving, kind, patient, healthy, loving....did I say PATIENT?   (Oh,  I also think he's pretty hot.)  Best of all, he loves me....even when I am entirely unloveable.   So, say it with me...what more do I need?  

Oh yeah, and having a God that is loving, forgiving and BIG doesn't hurt either. 

"Forgive me for my grumblings when things go wrong, and remind me of how many things go right too."